


Promise me

by TheShadowOfTheFlame



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Book 3: Ruin and Rising Spoilers, Dead People, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26971507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShadowOfTheFlame/pseuds/TheShadowOfTheFlame
Summary: "When the time comes," he said in a whisper, almost making me shiver. "You must kill me."
Relationships: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova & Alina Starkov, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Promise me

**Author's Note:**

> Well ... this is just something that came into my head and I had to write. Ginny, my girlfriend (yes, like Ginny from Harry Potter. Her mother is a huge fan, and it was her name that made me be friend her), cried "a little" when I sent her to read.
> 
> Good reading ❤️

There was no denying that connection that existed between us.

I was always drawn to it. I always ended up returning to his arms, one way or another.

That night, I was in the Little Palace in my spectral form, sitting between his legs while we both looked at the crackling fire in front of us.

"Why?" I asked suddenly, without taking my eyes off the fire. His long arms wrapped my waist.

"Why what?" Aleksander held his chin to the top of my head. It was ridiculous our height difference, but it only made me feel more comfortable around him.

"Why is there this connection between us?"

I could feel him getting tense before I relaxed and took a sigh. I imagined him closing his eyes.

"I don't know, Alina"

The silence followed his response, and the wood in the fireplace released a loud slap.

"Are you unhappy here in my arms?" He asked, touching my fingers, almost playing with them.

We had already come to an agreement a long time ago. When we met in person, we would be the enemies we should be. But at night, when we visited each other for our connection, we could be who we should be. Not to mention the war going on, or the fact that one of us would probably kill the other in the end. Just Alina and Aleksander.

"Never, Sasha" I leaned my head on his chest, allowing me to close my eyes momentarily. "I just wanted to know why all this had to happen to me. I never wanted to be a saint, let alone to get away from you".

"There's still a throne waiting for you, Moya Svet." He bowed his head and aspired my perfume. He always did that.

"Our deal, Aleksander." I spoke coldly. He knew that when I spoke his name without any of the nicknames I gave him - Aleks, Sasha, or even Little Shadow - it was because he was mad. Well, unless it was during or pre-sex.

"I know, Alina. I know" I heard him sigh, putting me on his lap, making me see his face. He took a lock of my hair that fell on my face. "I'm just tired of pretending. Tired of pretending like we don't stay together night after night. Tired of seeing you together with the otkazat'sya, as if every night we had sex or just hugged and kissed a little mattered".

"I feel the same way, Aleks. You know that". I leaned against his forehead, sighing as he passed his hand through his thick, silky black hair. I gave her a little kiss on her lips, staring back at the fire - which was the only thing lighting up the room completely dark.

He wrapped his arms around my waist again, but brought me closer this time.

Aleksander brought his head closer to my neck, but without touching.

"When the time comes," he said in a whisper, almost making me shiver. "You must kill me."

"What?" I asked indignantly, jumping out of the armchair and looking into his eyes.

"It's the right thing to do, Alina. You're ready for it."

"No, I can't kill you. I'm not ready yet. I'm not powerful enough. You're much older, wiser..."

"That's the point, Alina" he raised, standing over me. I didn't walk away. His hands held mine much smaller. "I am old. 592 years, to be exact. You are almost 19 years old. You have a lot to live for, many places to visit, many powers to discover. Live, Alina".

"I can't do that, Sasha. I can't do that." My voice was embargoed, and a hiccup escaped my lips. Aleksander wiped the tear from my eye with his thumb.

"Merzost is consuming me, Alina. I'm aware of it. I can't just disappear with the Fold to stop it. There's no other way."

"But... But..."

"No buts, Alina. Promise me you'll do it. Promise me that when you get the chance, you'll do it."

"You're a selfish bastard, you know that?" I held my forehead to his chest when he wrapped me in a tight hug, caressing my hair.

"I've received worse curses." A pause. "You didn't promise me."

"I promise that when I get the chance I'll stick a sword in your chest, you arrogant, suicidal bastard." I laughed, but the effect was nullified by one more hiccup.

"Don't be like that, Moya Dorogaya." He tightened my waist.

We stayed like this for a few more minutes, coiled in each other's arms while the tears dried on my face.

"I should go" I left his arms slowly, thinking it might be the last time he would do so. I wiped the traces of tears on my face.

"Yes, you should." Aleksander sat down again in the same armchair we were in before, but before I left, he said, "Alina."

"Yes?" I turned my head to him, taking the opportunity to analyse each of his traits carefully, so as never to forget them. He was beautiful, with sharp features and pale skin that contrasted with ebony hair. His eyes grey as the sky before a storm.

I never expected to hear the next words that came out of his mouth.

"I love you"

I was in shock for a few seconds, but I responded:

"I love you too"

And I disappeared from the room wiping a new wave of tears that flowed down my face.

***

_I have lost my power, I have lost my power, I have lost my power._

_Now, Alina_. I could see what that look, beneath the false fury, he sent me meant. I needed to do that.

"I don't need to be Grisha," I whispered, "to wield Grisha steel."

With one swift movement, I drove the shadow-wrapped blade deep into the Darkling's heart.

He made a soft sound, little more than an exhalation. He looked down at the hilt protruding from his chest, then back up at me. He frowned, took a step, tottered slightly. He righted himself.

A single laugh burst from his lips, and a fine spray of blood settled over his chin. "Like this?"

His legs faltered. He tried to stop his descent, but his arm gave way and he crumpled, rolling to his back. It's simple enough. Like calls to like. The Darkling's own power. Morozova's own blood.

I had to contain a hiccup just to see it like that.

"Blue sky," he said. I looked. In the distance I saw it, a pale glimmer, almost completely obscured by the black mist of the Fold. The volcra were swooping away from it, looking for someplace to hide. "Alina," he breathed.

I knelt beside him. The nichevo'ya had left off their attacks. They circled and clattered above us, unsure of what to do. I thought I glimpsed Nikolai among them, arcing toward that patch of blue.

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks, and let out a hiccup as I stroked his black hair. Black like your kefta, now stained with red.

"Alina," the Darkling repeated, his fingers seeking mine. Her voice was so weak, so fragile. I knew he wouldn't last long.

He reached up and brushed his knuckles over the wetness on my cheek. The smallest smile touched his bloodstained lips. "Someone to mourn me." He dropped his hand, as if the weight were too much. That alone caused my chest a great deal of pain. "No grave," he gasped, his hand tightening on mine, "for them to desecrate."

"All right," I said. The looms came harder. There will be nothing left. Everything we've been through, was now ending.

A cliché ending to our story, where the hero always beats the villain. And Aleksander was the villain of this story.

"I'm proud of you, Alina." Sasha moved his fingers slightly, and I grabbed his hand, knowing that's what he wanted.

"You idiot" I murmured, failing to dry the tears that flowed down my face.

He shuddered. His eyelids drooped.

"Once more," he said. "Speak my name once more."

He loved when I said his name, always loved. It was something that made him feel more human, and less like a creature that was doomed to be immortal. He said it to me once, when I was lying on his naked chest.

"Aleksander."

His eyes fluttered shut. "Don't let me be alone," he murmured. And then he was gone.

And I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe when I saw the glow leave his grey eyes that I loved so much.

I leaned my head on his chest - his chest with my sword and covered with his blood - and I just collapsed.

How did he manage to stay all these years alone? I had no idea how I was going to spend my mortal life without him.

"Idiot, idiot" I hit his chest with my fist closed, drawing his sword. "Idiot, Little Shadow."

I took his face between my hands - his face still and paler than usual.

"Come back to me, Sasha. Come back to your Little Sun. To your Tsarista. Your Dorogaya. Your Svet. Your Sol Koroleva. _Your Alina."_

I cried again in his chest, staining my face with blood. I didn't even realize when the Fold immediately began to dissipate, or when Malyen came back to life, or even when Nikolai ceased to be a Nichevo'ya.

"Come on, Alina" Mal took me by the shoulders and lifted me up. "It's over. He's gone. Everything will be all right."

He didn't understand. I let out a hiccup and barely passed an arm over my shoulders, pulling me into a side hug.

None of them understood, I thought as they all celebrated their victory and said to me - who still cried every time someone mentioned it - that it was all over and Darkling was dead.

That was the problem.

On the day of my fake funeral, along with his, I wanted to be alone.

"I love you, Aleksander" I whispered, looking at his body burning and turning to ashes. "For all eternity."


End file.
